30 December 2009

Security Theater

I'm sitting in the AA lounge at Logan, waiting for my flight back to London and pondering the ridiculous reaction of the government and the public to the Crotch Bomber. Maureen Dowd's op-ed captures the "be afraid, be very afraid" mantra of modern air travel, even when it is repeatedly demonstrated to be extremely safe.

Two failures happened in this incident:
  1. Intelligence on the suspect wasn't distributed widely enough to flag him to airport or immigration authorities.
  2. His crotch bomb made it on the to the plane undetected.
The first is a problem, and should be addressed. It is the only lesson we can learn from this incident. Trying to adjust airport screening approaches to the last attack is a pointless waste of time and resources. Focus on the bad guys and let the rest of us bring our toothpaste on planes without being hassled.

24 December 2009

"Why" are these words in "quotes"

Signing off message from reception:

Thank you all for your co-operation and may we wish you all a very "Happy Christmas" and a "Prosperous" New Year.

Are they sarcastically wishing people a Merry Christmas?

16 November 2009

A bit of TMQ

Tuesday Morning Quarterback (who is apparently a jackass in his personal life) used to always bemoan chicken coaches who punted in situations where a bold gamble on 4th down was statistically more likely to succeed. While Coach B has been excoriated for his decision in last weekend's loss to the Colts, Freakonomics guru Steve Levitt disagrees.

Gut disorder 'blamed on leaks'

So says the BBC's coverage of my latest paper, which just came out in Nature Genetics. Someone needs to have a word with their science headline writer.

21 October 2009

Hawai'i II

This post will hopefully be more interesting than the last one (which mainly consisted of a recitation of flight times and places). I'm now transitioning out of vacation mode and into conference mode in Honolulu. Four days on the Big Island were amazing, and included snorkeling, a 4WD trip to the summit of Mauna Kea to see the observatories and go stargazing, hiking across a volcano crater and seeing the lava flow into the ocean. Today, on my last free morning, I went on a two-tank dive: first to the wreck of the Sea Tiger, and second to a nearby reef.

Although I'm about to go mingle with some work colleagues at the opening mixer, I'm still enjoying the Aloha spirit.

16 October 2009

Hawai'i I

Woke up at 7AM on Thursday to meet my 8AM cab to LHR. Other than congestion due to a 'road census' (pulling over cars to ask where they've come from and where they're going) at rush hour, it was an easy ride to the airport. Twelve hour flight to LAX was less miserable than I feared, but unfortunately the selection of movies was atrocious (I tried watching The Taking of Pelham 123, but was basically bored before the credits finished). Quick layover (time for one Samuel at the LAX Chili's) and then onto the 5.33 hour flight to HNL. I tried to avoid snoozing, since I knew I needed to preserve my state of exhaustion in the hope of sleeping last night, but couldn't resist after a couple of hours and zonked out. Was totally wrecked when I arrived at HNL airport hotel at about 8PM local (7AM GMT Friday — exactly 24 hrs in transit) and did my best to sack out for the night. Woke up because the muppet who had this room before me left the alarm switched on for 4:45AM, and then dozed for a while. Sun has now risen, and my flight to the Big Island beckons. Aloha!

11 October 2009

Bad luck charm

Of the four League Divisional Series I have an interest in three (can't muster any opinion about the Phillies/Rockies match-up), and I'm clearly a bad luck charm, as my teams are 0-7. Cards have already been swept and the Twins and Sox are on the chopping block today!

28 September 2009

The Greatest Show on Earth

I recently finished my first cover-to-cover reading of a book by Richard Dawkins; his recently published The Greatest Show on Earth. The brief review is: a beautiful book that is filled with Dawkins' regular (and tedious) diatribes against creationism.

Dawkins carefully presents the preponderance of evidence supporting evolution from diverse disciplines: molecular biology, paleontology, geology, chemistry, etc. It's a wonderful book for people who don't often think about evolution; it weaves together the interesting stories from all these areas of research in a way that inspires awe at the complexity of life, and amazement at the simple theory that fits all the pieces together.

On the other hand, as another reviewer, Chet Raymo, pointed out, there's not a hell of a lot that a well informed reader wouldn't know (especially if he or she had read Dawkins' previous tomes). This begs the question:
To whom, then, is it addressed? Presumably to the fair minded but not so well informed person who has heard a lot about the evolution wars and wants to know just why scientists are so confident that they are right. If this is the case, I would have thought it best if Dawkins had left out the snarky and condescending comments about creationists. Admittedly, they are easy targets, and perhaps Dawkins by temperament cannot resist taking pot shots (I do it myself), but the book would work best, I believe, as a persuader of the unpersuaded if he had let the evidence stand on its own, untainted by polemic.
In fact, I dismissed as overblown Dawkins' insistence that we need to convince anyone of the reality of evolution, with the exception of schoolteachers and scientists. I think that most people who choose not to believe in evolution are doing so not because they've carefully weighed the facts and been persuaded by creationism, but rather because it's part of their religious upbringing and they choose not to believe in evolution (which is, after all, their right).

I'm slightly less confident of this assertion after seeing craziness like this 50 page introduction to On the Origin of Species by evangelist nutjob Ray Comfort and pimped by Kirk Cameron (of all people). Comfort presents seductive, but completely false rebuttals to many of the topics discussed in The Greatest Show on Earth (as well as throwing in random quotations by Adolf Hitler). I can see how a sensible person could be convinced by his arguments, even though when viewed from an informed perspective one can immediately see that they are designed to seem plausible without actually being supported by any scientific facts.

Still, at the end of the day I don't really care very much whether the average American believes in evolution or not, as long as it doesn't extend to the active suppression of scientific thought. Raymo is right that Dawkins is preaching to the choir in a serious way here. If his goal is to change minds he needs to be less of a blowhard about his topic.

25 September 2009

The google gestalt

I noticed something a little bit creepy while googling for something a while ago, and encountered it again today. What happens is this:

Start typing a term into google these days and it will drop down a list of auto-completed suggestions. For example, if I enter "foonyor" it thinks I just can't spell very well and makes suggestions like "funny games" and "funny jokes" etc. The key is that google considers what you've typed so far and then cross references it with what other people out there in the ether have ended up typing after beginning in the same way.

If you type in somebody's name, you'll often get a suggested keyword that reflects what other people have been trying to find about them. For instance, the top suggestion for completing "Gordon Brown" is "youtube" because of his recent bumbling attempt to engage the youth of Britain via the intertubes.

Where things become a bit creepy is when you're searching for someone less famous and you get to see what other people are trying to learn about them. Today's weird example involves my former colleague (and all-around genius) Pardis Sabeti, currently an Assistant Professor at Harvard. Here's the ten suggested completions after typing in her name:

  1. married
  2. harvard
  3. lab
  4. thousand days [ed: this is the name of her band]
  5. biography
  6. boyfriend
  7. wiki
  8. band
  9. facebook
  10. cnn
How messed up is it that "married" is number 1 (and that boyfriend is in there too)?!? If you read about her background you'll find out that Pardis is ridiculously smart and successful (and sings lead vocals in that band) but all the internet creeps want to know is whether she's available!

03 September 2009

Autotune the news

The intro (Biden) section of episode 8 of Autotune the News actually sounds pretty sweet:

24 August 2009

Brains are funny

Basically every morning I go to the campus coffee shop and get a large black Americano (which I don't actually like that much, but there's no decent brewed coffee). Today I needed a second morning cup to fuel me, so I went back, but was confronted by the long 10:30 coffee break line. Since it was my second cup I was going to have a small one, but I started thinking about other things while waiting and by the time it was my turn to order, my mouth said (without any conscious input from me) "large black please".

I guess this is the epitome of boring stories but I was amazed by this moment of trying to say one thing, but having some trained response to standing at the counter make me say something else. It was incredibly bizarre.

20 August 2009


The always humorous, Barney Frank shows some gumption in the face of health-care reform crazies!

"Ma'am, trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table. I have no interest in doing it"

16 August 2009


Weirdest unsolicited email I've ever received:

Honorable Mr. Barrett The ferromagnetic theory of


*The work of the Department of Health, Medical/Health Agencies and Cancer

Research Establishments needs great care, attentiveness and uninfantility.*

*Information for the Department of Health, Medical/Health Agencies and

Cancer Research Establishments: modern methods of treatment of oncopathologies

are invalid, ineffective, obsolete, infirm, flaccid *and *not absolutely

correct (see oncostatistics). Surgical method is adequate enough, but is

not always appropriate.*

*Modern methods don't pay any attention to the primary (=ferromagnetic


cause/reason (ferromagnetic nano-technology) of tumor process.*

*Scientists often confuse or/and mix up the reason with the consequence,

primary reason with factors, truth with false.*

*Once royal R.Boyle (1627-1691) 'proved': magnetic fields didn't 'work' in

vacuum. Now onco**scientists can **'prove': magnetic fields don't 'work'

in water.***

*Any oncopathology (cancer, sarcoma, leucosis, etc) is disease of cells.*

*Any man is: 1) mountain of cells; 2) potential oncopatient.*

*Molecular-biologically: any tumor cell is normal cell, which is taken ill

nano-crystalline ferro(i)magnetic 'infection'.*

*Chemical, spectral and target Electron Paramagnetic Resonance analyses of

such nano-crystalline ferro(i)magnetic 'infection' are difficult.*

*'Antisocial behaviour' (R.Süss) of tumor cells (infringement of **rule of

contact inhibition of multiplication) **can explain by 'action' of

nano-crystalline ferro(i)magnetic 'infection'. [Spleen ('erythrocytes

cemetery') is the most iron-containing organ **and** organ with anticancer

properties. Cells of spleen don't fear intracellular nano-crystalline

ferro(i)magnetic 'infection'.].*

*Excessively-conservative **onco**scientists (oncomonopolists) with false

school-certificates explain 'antisocial behaviour' of tumor cells by 'work'

of excessive negative charged membranes of tumor cells (**Coulomb's law).*

*Excessive conservatism is almost schizophrenia!***

*French Coulomb (1736-1806) saw that 'behaviour' of charges (+; -) =

'behaviour' of poles of constant magnets (N; S).*

*'-' *and* '-' *and* '-' *and* '-' *and* '-' ... mutually push off (variant


*N *and* N *and* N *and* N *and* N ... mutually push off (variant No.2).*

*Moving*, negative charged objects (DNA, membrane, etc.) create around

oneself magnetic fields *(variant No.1+No.2).** *

*But, some onco**scientists see only variant **No.1 and** ultra-beauteous onco

*phar*money. *

*So, any oncopathology is intracellular nanocrystalline-ferromagnetic

disease. [Ferrum-age gives epidemic of ferrum-disease.].*

*Nano**crystalline iron is führer/khan of nanocrystalline ferro(i)magnetic

substances into any cells.*

*Crystalline oncoviruses, crystalline chemical carcinogens

**and**crystalline ferrites (Fe

**2**O**3****Me*O, (*Me* = Co, Ni, Zn, Cu, Mg, Mn, *etc.*)) are 'initiators'

and 'assistants' of nano-crystals of iron.*

*Nano-crystals of iron can appear into cells automatically (without


aggression of crystalline oncoviruses **and** crystalline chemical

carcinogens) when concentration of intracellular free iron is high (very

caloric meat nourishment, hemochromatosis and sideroblastic anemia) (see

Marilynn Larkin; M.S.Kleckner, G.K.Mallory, R.A.MacDonald). You like

tea andcoffee? Tea

**and** coffee are sources of very useful manganese (Mn) for brains,

pancreas, reproductive function, *etc.* Nano-crystalline Mn isn't

ferromagnetic substances. But nano-crystalline Mn+N is ferromagnetic

(intracellular) substances. Any tumor is trap of nitrogen (N). So

Mn+N=death. Reproductive and brain-intellectual problems I can solve not by

tea **and** coffee, but by my ... Reproductive problems aren't the African

problems. Enzyme's systems of virus AIDS kaputt in iron-deficient

conditions. The Africans must save very oldish Europe reproductively soon!


*'Initiators'/'assistants' 'work' into cell by weak invisible harmful

magnetic fields.*

*Scientists with holey logic think that crystalline oncoviruses

**and**crystalline chemical carcinogens ('initiators'/'assistants')

spoil normal

cell only by virus-DNA/RNA **or** intracellular chemical reactions.

[Genosses with iron logic: Hercule Poirot, Sherlock Holmes, Nat Pinkerton,

Megre, Columbo (Peter Falk), Kommissar Reks! Um Hilfe rufen!]*

*Nano-crystals of iron 'work' into cell by strong invisible harmful

magnetic fields. *

*Into tumor cells nano-crystals of iron and its 'assistants' found

ferro(i)magnetic intoxic (untoxic) consolidated

nano-conglomerates-complexes, which look (e. microscopy) as 'black spots'

(nano-objects with illegible contours).*

*Various intracellular useful, neutral, reserved, excrement's substances

look (e. microscopy) as 'black spots' also. Problem! Fraud!*

*Ferro(i)magnetic** consolidated nano-conglomerates-complexes into tumor

cells have unlike poles (but not unlike charges!).*

*Electric and magnetic phenomena connect! Not only into industrial

transformers or computer technique. Into cells also [Nervous life

**à**supplementary electrization of organism (cells, intracellular


**à** supplementary magnetization of organism (cells, intracellular objects)

**à** oncopathology]. *

*Poles of ferro(i)magnetic** in**toxic consolidated

nano-conglomerates-complexes **into tumor cell orient in accordance with

negative charge of membrane of tumor cell. One pole orients

to**membrane of tumor cell.

**Second pole orients to** centre of t. cell.*

*So, paradox: negative charged membrane of tumor cell is as monolithic

one-pole magnet! DNA is moving negative charged crystal. Constant magnets

influence moving negative charged objects. *

*Of course, any normal cell has some few ferro(i)magnetic** consolidated

nano-conglomerates-complexes (=any man is potential oncopatient).*

*Therefore: very simple, very inexpensive, very accurate iron-deprived,

iron-bereaved, iron-striped, iron-robed, iron-lost, iron-removed,

iron-destroyed, iron-exterminated, iron-extirpated, iron-disable,

iron-disappeared, iron-spoilt, iron-dislodged, iron-banished, iron-exiled,

iron-limitative, iron-restrictive, iron-neutralized methods *(means, ways,

manners, measures, modes, artifices, shifts)* of treatment of oncopathologies

are oncopanacea. Very simple, very inexpensive!? How awful!*

*This means total financial castration of oncological-pharmaceutical mafia =

some onco-pharmaceutical companies **and** some onco-research institutions

(= onco-research monopolists) *(secret information).* *

*Intracellular free Fe, hem Fe **and** unhem Fe are necessary substances

into cells.*

*Intracellular free Fe **and** nano-crystalline Fe are dangerous substances

into cells, the Biblical villainy.*

*For example, alcohol (water, honey, woman, iron horse, iron bird) is friend

**and** enemy. *

*Nano-crystalline Fe is as if uncalculable Fe into human organism

(approximate 15%). 15%!!! God can kill sinner by 0,5 - 1 gram of Fe. *

*Führer liked crystalline Fe (tanks, rockets, guns, grenades, automatic

rifles, pistols), but Führer feared nano-crystalline Fe (into

super-wonderful grossdeutsche Aryan cells). I like to see TV about modern

aircraft carriers (funny crystalline Fe, potential scrap-iron). *

*Some CREstablishments (CRMonopolists) ignore the ferromagnetic theory-2006

of carcinogenesis (*=*the ferromagnetic theory of cancer) and

iron-neutralized methods of treatment of oncopathologies because threat for

onco-budgetary and onco-pharmaceutical money.*

*Favorite schweinisch plays-2008/2009 of some double-faced Cancer Research

führers-leaders are silence (snobbish ultra-laconism) and ununderstanding

because deficiency of information, arguments and detailed details.*

*Progress in oncology can't be stopped by greed of

oncological-pharmaceutical mafia. Some CREstablishments (CRMonopolists)

fraud **and** disgrace people. I fear that people can smash some

**idiotic**CREstablishments (CRMonopolists) as football fans ... My plan

of defence for

some double-faced Cancer Research führers-leaders:*

*1.'We originated from monkeys (theory of evolution), therefore we don't

understand iron-neutralized methods by stupid monkey's brains.' (laconism +

verisimilitude = iron alibi). 2.Old Pinochet ('friend' of Iron Lady) gives

spectacles for very naive the English. Some double-faced onco-führers-leaders

can pretend degenerates-idiots and go to South America (by iron bird or iron

boat). Schnell! 3.Some double-faced onco-führers-leaders can migrate into

prisons. Iron gratings, iron handcuffs, iron bedsteads ... romanticism + new

friends-swindlers. I recommend prison documentary films-1945 about Hitler **

and** Mussolini; historical films about Napoleon **and** obstinate Pharaoh

who was drowned. History is reiterative farce. I hope Directors of the

Department of Health **and** Medical/Health Agencies; police-officers **and*

* some double-faced onco-führers-leaders will read my excellent plan with


*If you ignore this information then ... maybe you are friends of cancer **and

onco**pharmafia? I recommend you to go to police-office. Together we will

beat oncopharmafia. Together We (God **and** mankind) will beat cancer. @@@


* Numerous laboratory, clinical and analytical investigations over the

past few decades have observed that any oncopathology is ferromagnetic

nano-crystalline disease. Ferromagnetism is quantum phenomenon (magnetic

properties of electrons).*

* Ferromagnetism is fate only some crystalline substances (crystalline

oncoviruses, crystalline chemical carcinogens, some crystalline pharm-active

substances, some ordinary useful org./*in*org. crystalline substances, some

crystalline metals). Any **un**crystalline substances (atoms

**and**molecules) are dia-

and paramagnetic matters. Water is diamagnetic substance. *

* Some degenerative cancer researchers invent bluff-theories of cancer.

They think: cancer is sum of biochemical processes *into cells*. I think:

cancer is sum of biochemical processes + sum of nanocrystalline-ferromagnetic

processes *into cells*. Biophysicists must assist at some degraded C. R.

Establishments. Biophysicists must refute demagogy of

drones-pharmarionettes. *

* Nano-crystalline iron is main ferromagnetic (*=*carcinogenic) substance

into human organism (into cells). Crystalline iron is main ferromagnetic

substance in nature.*

* Crystalline oncoviruses, crystalline chemical carcinogens ((1. weak

magnetic substances or/and 2. killers-poisoners of iron-containing cells)) *

*and** crystalline ferrites are 'initiators' and 'assistants' of

nano-crystals of iron. Into tumor cells ferromagnetic nano-crystals of iron

and its ferro(i)magnetic 'initiators'/'assistants' found

ferro(i)magnetic intoxic

(untoxic) consolidated nano-conglomerates-complexes, which look (e.

microscopy) as 'black spots' (nano-objects with illegible contours).*

* Suspicious 'black spots' can live: into cytoplasm, into mitochondrions

(respiratory problems of some tumors), into membrane (change of thickness **

and** penetration), etc.*

* Mitochondrions *(O.Warburg) *(see O.Warburg's the Respiratory theory

of cancer), oncoviruses *(R.Süss)*, peroxisomes **and** other microbodies *

(Y.Mochizuki)* change contours, self-mask, disappear mysterious

**and**appear again. Fantastically!


* Suspicious 'black spots' (with invisible harmful magnetic fields) can

disfigure DNA (DNA is linear, 'non-periodical'/'non-regular', moving,

negative charged crystal); distort mitoses; repress intracellular enzyme

systems (by creation of intracellular deficiency of free heavy metals);

change properties (sphericity, elasticity, *etc.*) **and** behavior


of tumor** cells.*

* **Moving, negative charged object (DNA) creates around oneself

magnetic field. [[Immovable, negative charged object doesn't create around

oneself magnetic field. Immovable, negative charged object creates around

oneself electric field *(see Coulomb's law)*.]]. Intracellular

ferro(i)magnetic nano-crystal (=constant magnet) creates around oneself

magnetic field. Therefore ferro(i)magnetic intoxic consolidated

nano-conglomerates-complexes can disfigure DNA. *

* Daughter tumor cells receive suspicious 'black spots' from mother

tumor cell (with own portions of cytoplasm **and** membrane). Tumor cell is

bio-system: diamagnetic water + dia-, para-, ferri- **and** ferromagnetic

objects (atoms, molecules, nano-crystals, pico---nano-particles,

organelles). **Theoretically, if you transplant/seat

**ferro(i)magnetic**nano-crystals into normal cell (cytoplasm,

mitochondrions, membrane,

**etc.**), then you receive/produce tumor cell. **Intra-tumor,

intra-metastatic **and** common (very cautious **and** accurate) limitation

of free iron can repress **and** liquidate any neoplastic process.*

* Majority of snobbish oncological research Establishments

(Monopolists!) ignores the ferromagnetic theory-2006 of carcinogenesis (*=*the

ferromagnetic theory of cancer) and iron-neutralized methods. Of course,

sometimes radiation and modern chemotherapy, as well as folk medicine

orparallel suppurative-inflammatory process are helpful because they

INDIRECTLY cause iron-deficient conditions into tumor **and** into

metastases. At the same time radiation and modern chemotherapy are

carcinogenic because these therapies cause mass death of iron-containing

(metal-containing) cells: 1) tumor somatic cells; 2) normal somatic cells

(such thing is also present) **and **3) blood cells. Very very rarely

parallel suppurative-inflammatory process (the first-born death (Job 18:13))

successfully (completely) destroys tumor process (the first-born death also)

**and** 'not very abacterially (sterile) operated' oncopatient (who lost a

lot of blood as well) totally recovers. Methods-2009 must DIRECTLY cause

iron-deficient conditions into tumor **and** into metastases. **Onco-swindler!

Wo hast du deinen Verstandskasten? Hände hoch! Hitler kaputt-1945!


kaputt-2009! The ferromagnetic theory of cancer** sehr gut!** *

* **Historical excursion: Alexandr Fleming (1881-1955) had been

publishing articles about penicillin in press, had been making reports at

the conferences for more than 10 years (1928-1938). But nobody believed him.

Then everybody decided that the author of the articles about penicillin had

died. Mathe wrote 'Dossier cancer'. I can write 'Dossier scientific

marasmus'. G.Mendel (1822-1884) discovered laws of inheritance in 1866. Mad

scientists understood genetics-work of G.Mendel in 1900. Bravo! Bis! People

are fools (Jeremiah 10:14). Familiarity? Truth! Mendeleyev:

1869---1886(admission). Einstein: 1905---1919(admission). F.Rous

(1879-1970): 1911(discovery of hen's oncovirus)---1966(Nobel Prize). Thanks!

I shall receive Nobel Prize in 2066? The Russian scientists V.A.Manassein **

and** A.G.Polotebnov attempted to develop penicillin's theme in 1868-1871,

but...indifference **and** degradation (alcoholism?) of colleagues. I.Newton

read about circular form of Earth (Isaiah 40:22) and emptiness (Job 26:7).

One-pole gravitate fields and double-pole magnetic fields are emptiness.

Deadly emptiness! [Naive thinkers (the British) like discoveries of

I.Newton. I like naive comrades (the British, the Americans, the Germans

(especially women), **etc.**). The Germans can prepare for me honeyed trap.

Honeyed trap eats Solomon! Um Hilfe rufen! My snobbish hobby: to guess

silly (human) thoughts.]. I read about iron *and* cancer (hundreds of

biblical fragments). Maybe some scientists want to read about new rocket

technologies? I'm sorry, but foolish atheists aren't able to understand

biblical information. Or: go to Römisch Papa?*

* UK, RF, USA and Germany are intellectual leaders in oncology (and

ultra-beauteous super-gold $$$$$).*

* I propose for Directors of Departments of Health of UK, RF, USA **and

** Germany to control work of impudent research onco-monopolists, who


*1)* f. essence (nature) of any oncopathology; *2)* iron-neutralized

methods (means, ways, manners, measures, modes, artifices, shifts) of

treatment of oncopathologies. @@@*

*Rudolf Wirhov presumed that no one, even under the tortures, couldn't be

able to answer what the cancer cell really is. I can, even without being

tortured, because I'm armed with the knowledge of the Holy Writ. **Any tumor

cell is normal cell, which is taken ill nano-crystalline ferro(i)magnetic


*Normal cell contains some few ferro(i)magnetic** intoxic (untoxic)

consolidated nano-conglomerates-complexes. *

*Tumor cell contains many ferro(i)magnetic **in**toxic (untoxic)

consolidated nano-conglomerates-complexes.*

* Any man is mountain of well-organized n. and t. cells. Any cell is

mountain of well-organized atoms **and** molecules. Any i**ntracellular **f*

*erro(i)magnetic** in**toxic consolidated nano-conglomerate-complex is

mountain of well-organized + chaotically-organized atoms **and** molecules.

[Any modern spaceship is mountain of atoms **and** molecules; result foolish

human ideas **and** efforts.].** *

* Intracellular ferro(i)magnetic** in**toxic consolidated

nano-conglomerates-complexes are able to deactivate


**and** uncrystalline viruses by** intracellular deficiency of metals (Fe, *

*etc.**). Enzyme's systems of virus-AIDS 100%-die in iron-deficient

conditions (see Job 18:13-15 **or** go to the Black Sea, which represses any

virus//bacterial associations by iron-deficient method (H**2**S-water)).*

* **Into human organism** 'virus//bacterial process' can repress tumor

process by iron-deficient method.*

* Into human organism** tumor process can repress 'virus//bacterial

process' by iron-deficient method.*

* Into human organism** 'artificial-medical process' can repress tumor

process or/and 'virus-bacterial process' by iron- deficient method.*

* I offer to repress greedy caddish oncopharmafia by iron-**prison method.*


* [*So* I hope Africans without AIDS (=iron-deficient method) help Old

Europe **and** Old Russia demographyly **and** maybe, even, Presidently.].**


* Therefore: very simple, very inexpensive, very accurate iron-neutralized

methods *(means, ways, manners, measures, modes, artifices, shifts)* of

treatment of oncopathologies are oncopanacea.*

* Intracellular free Fe, hem Fe **and** unhem Fe are friends, necessary

substances into any cells. Intracellular free Fe **and** nano-crystalline Fe

are enemies, dangerous substances into any cells, the Biblical villainy.*

* For example, woman is friend (in the night) **and** enemy (in the

day-time) **(joke)**. Every month cunning women** lose blood so hemoglobin *

*and** iron and intellectual power (Ecclesiastes 7:28). Men have cancer 1,5

times more often than women, because % of iron content in man's blood serum

is 1,3 times as higher than in woman's. God knows that blood (human

**or**animal) is main content of iron, therefore: Leviticus 15:25;


19:26; Ezekiel 24:6-7. God avoids **and** ridicules iron objects (Exodus

4:25; Deuteronomy 3:11; Deuteronomy 5:22; 1Kings 22:11; Judges 4:3; Daniel

7:19) **and** rust Fe2O3*nH2O (Matthew 6:19-20). Iron is calamity (Ezekiel

4:3). Ferromagnetic** theory of cancer is **calamity for demagogic

onco-pharm-drones. If you are dunderhead (if you ununderstand biblical

information) then you can see forecasts of Evangelia Dimitrova (1911-1996)

(Vanga, Bulgarian). Such prophets (prophetesses) exist really (The Acts

16:16). God restricts Vanga by bad translators (Macedonian dialect)

**and**cancer. Vanga foretold: 1) Mankind will beat cancer in the

beginning of 21

century; medicament-panacea will be connect with iron; 2) 'USSR' will be

restore to 2025; 3) Speed of transport-2050 will be comparison with 300000

km/s. I ask Gross-USA **and** Gross-Europe to develop thermonuclear (sunny)

energetics (I weep: oil kaputt, liquid oxygen plus liquid hydrogen sehr gut)

**and** transport rocketbuilding, but, bitte schön, not oxygen-hydrogen.

Schnell! Pardon, I forget about your school certificates, which are

false-forged. Schade! Sun holds plasma by strong gravity field. Foolish

people (thermonuclearers) want to hold plasma by strong magnetic field.

Result? Zero. Maybe: 'one-pole' gravity field = 'double-pole' magnetic

field? Gravitons = magnetons? God's ideas = human (foolish) ideas? White =

black? Defect of mass = defect of mind? To be or not to be? Maybe or not

maybe? I recommend to ask the Britishers. Albion is the most intellectual

country. Idiots-oncoscientists don't understand: intracellular magnetic

fields are invisible. Idiots-thermonuclearers don't understand: strong

double-pole magnetic fields aren't applicable to hold plasma. If speed of

light = endless, then magnetic fields kaputt. Iron is compressed hydrogen (4

milliards degrees). Star can't overcome iron barrier = star self-presses and

explodes. ***

* **It is considered that a slow blood loss even of 75% of blood and more

doesn't end with the death of an injured person, especially using modern

methods of treatment **and** reanimation. There is no doubt that an oncopatient

wouldn't survive under these circumstances. Everything should be done

steady, but the precious time could not be wasted. But injective (target =

centre of tumor **and** centres of metastases) antiiron therapy is main

therapy. Slow blood loss is auxiliary measure (maybe).*

* Nanocrystalline iron is führer of nanocrystalline ferro(i)magnetic

substances into any cells (human, animal, vegetative): crystalline oncoviruses,

crystalline chemical carcinogens **and** crystalline ferrites (Fe**2**O**3**

**Me*O, (*Me* = Co, Ni, Zn, Cu, Mg, Mn, **etc.**)). They are 'initiators' **

and** 'assistants' of nano-crystals of iron. Crystalline oncoviruses

**and**crystalline chemical carcinogens are: 1. Weak magnetic


OR/AND 2. Killers-poisoners of iron-containing cells.*

* Mankind must pay money ('without taxes') for advance-2007-2009 of


** theory of cancer. List of heroic persons encloses. I shall be complete

this list **and** points/marks (increase possibly) according with justice.

When the** ferromagnetic** theory of cancer (the ferromagnetic theory-2006

of carcinogenesis) will be well-known, then I shall finish completing this

list. *

*Mr Richard Goldfinch, MHRA, London, UK, 20 points*

*Miss Cally Palmer CBE, The Royal Marsden NHS, London, UK, 10 points*

*Mr Malcolm Jones, Department of Health, London, UK, 10 points*

*Mr L. Michelle Bennett, Center for Cancer Research NCI/NIH, Bethesda, USA,

10 points*

*Ms Barbara Cavilla, BACR, Surrey, UK, 10 points *

*Ms L.Romanova, State Agency of Medicines, Riga, Latvia, 10 points*

*Ms Monika Preszly, DKFZ, Heidelberg, Germany, 10 points*

*Mr Jan Liliemark, Medical Products Agency, Uppsala, Sweden, 7 points *

*Mr V.A.Egorov, Minzdravsocrazvitia, Moscow, RF, 5 points*

*Mr V.F.Semiglazov, NIIO, S-Peterburg, RF, 5 points *

*Mr M.A.Zabezhinski, NIIO, S-Peterburg, RF, 5 points *

*Ms Nadine Flerlage, DKFZ, Heidelberg, Germany, 5 points*

*Ms Stefanie Preisser, DKFZ, Heidelberg, Germany, 5 points*

*Ms Kerry Paige Nesseler, Department of Health, Rockville, USA, 5 points *

*Mr Deborah Pearson, NIH/NCI, Bethesda, USA, 5 points *

*Mr Pat Troop, HPA, London, UK, 5 points *

*Mr Justin McCracken, HPA, London, UK, 5 points; Mr Jane Spencer, Department

of Health, London, UK, 3 points; Mr Hans-Joachim Gebest, DKFZ, Heidelberg,

Germany, 3 points; Mr A.I.Barishnikov, RONZ, Moscow, RF, 3 points; Mr

A.V.Sergeev, RONZ, Moscow, RF, 3 points; Mr T.I.Klochkova, RONZ, Moscow, RF,

3 points; Ms Maria Alves, EMEA, London, UK, 3 points; Mr Kjell Asplund,

Socialstyrelsen, Stockholm, Sweden, 3 points; Mr Ann Bengtsson,

Socialstyrelsen, Stockholm, Sweden, 3 points; Mr Adrienne Watts, Cancer

Research UK, London, UK, 2 points; Ms I.L.Andreeva, Minzdravsocrazvitia,

Moscow, RF, 2 points; Ms Inguna Adovica, State Agency of Medicines, Riga,

Latvia, 2 points; Mr V.I.Chissov, MNIOI, Moscow, RF, 1 point; Ms

I.G.Lopuhova, Minzdravsocrazvitia, Moscow, RF, 1 point; Mr Stephen Atkinson,

Department of Health, London, UK, 1 point; Ms Gisela Harms, DKFZ,

Heidelberg, Germany, 1 point; Mr V.Berlande, State Agency of Medicines,

Riga, Latvia, 1 point; Ms Kurakina, State Agency of Medicines, Riga, Latvia,

1 point; Mr Biedre, State Agency of Medicines, Riga, Latvia, 1 point; Ms

Rogovska, State Agency of Medicines, Riga, Latvia, 1 point; Mr Günther

Dettweiler, Robert Koch Institut, Berlin, Germany, 1 point; Ms Christina

Gille, Robert Koch Institut, Berlin, Germany, 1 point...*

* God likes mathematics **and** physics. For examples, proportions of

Noah's ark 150x25x15 (Genesis 6:15) take into account level of earthen

gravitation, density of water **and** air, force of waves, **etc. **Some

scientific onco-pharm-boars like mathematics. They take into account sums of

onco-budgetary **and** onco-pharmaceutical money (ultra-wonderful

substance). They can sell for money even own mothers. They will plan to

invent onco-fairy-tales for naive people endlessly.*

Required reading

Paul Krugman had a good op-ed a few days ago in the Times about how Obama has failed to seize command of the health care debate, and specifically how he hasn't been indignant about how badly misrepresented the various proposals have been.

Well, the President took a good step in the right direction by clearly laying out the proposal and its benefits in another Times op-ed today.

06 August 2009

A culture of excellence

This slide-deck from Netflix about cultivating their corporate culture of success is full of good ideas for anyone organizing a group of people (whether in a corporation or academia). [HT: kottke]

A couple of my favorite points:
  1. In procedural work, the best employees are only twice as effective as the average, whereas in creative work the best employees can be ten times as effective as an average worker (VORP, for those of you who are sabermetricians).
  2. The full text of their policy on Expensing, Entertainment, Gifts & Travel: "Act in Netflix's best interests".

01 August 2009

Street view is amazing

Sometimes the interwebs just blows my mind. I'm meeting some friends in Camden Town tonight, and was not looking forward to the faff of taking the train into London, when it was suggested that I could just drive. First we checked to make sure the pub in question was outside the Congestion Charge Zone, which is pretty blase Web 1.0 stuff.

What was awesome is when I wondered out loud if I could park nearby on the street. I already had the google map of the area open, so I clicked on 'Street View' and within about ten seconds was looking at this (no idea why the finishing hour on Saturday is blurred...anybody?):

Cash for clunkers

Various European countries (including the UK) have rolled out so-called "cash for clunkers" programs as part of economic stimulus packages. I saw in the Times (of New York) today that the equivalent plan in the US has been so successful it ran out of money. Congress looks likely to execute some kind of extension, but not without typical bitching about "not getting enough value for taxpayer dollar" -- i. e. the deal the government has been offering is "too good".

Isn't the point of the stimulus for the Federal government to create money out of thin air and inject it into the economy as quickly as possible to prop up the economy? Surely this program should be enlarged right away, since it:
  1. Gets money from the gov't into somebody's pocket (i.e. the economy) fast.
  2. Stimulates the woeful auto industry in particular.
  3. Is a win for the environment because you have to replace your clunker with a more efficient car.
Compared with some of the other crap in the stimulus, this seems like perfection itself!

31 July 2009

In the awesome names category

I can't help but giggle every time I see an Ashes headline about English bowler Graham Onions, like "Onions and Anderson rip through Australia". In related news, looks like the tourists are being thrashed in the first innings of the 3rd Ashes test!

Say it ain't so!

Big Papi on the juice!

30 July 2009


Just finished a battle against installing the necessary modules to get perl to parse RSS feeds. I've always hated doing stuff like this...getting the environment variables to point to the right place, being repeatedly given the finger by Make asking for dependent packages and having to climb back up the tree until I fulfill them all.

But it's done and the script runs. Victory!

29 July 2009

Maker's schedule, manager's schedule

Several of the bløgs I read have pointed to this excellent piece by the typically excellent Paul Graham about the difference between the "manger's schedule" (which almost the whole world runs on) vs. the "maker's schedule". The article is definitely worth a read because the idea is very well expressed, but I'll boil it down to the essentials here so I can riff on it: "Managers" (and most of the world) run on a schedule broken down into hour long blocks, with frequent changes of activity (meeting A, then some emailing, then meeting B, etc). "Makers" (which Graham uses to mean writers and programmers, and to which I'd add practicing scientists — more below) instead want to work in large, half-day chunks with no interruptions. Meetings are the bread and butter of managers, but they are a disaster for makers because they not only use time, but also break the "flow" of creative thinking they require; a single meeting can destroy a whole aftermoon.

How does this fit into my life? Well, I'm basically transitioning from a maker to a manager now that I'm the PI of my own group. Instead of spending most of my days in 3-4 hour chunks of either coding or being deep in analysis, I am finding most of my days interrupted with at least a couple of meetings, which make it almost impossible to actually accomplish any "making". This realization is important, because I don't want to end up being only a manager of other makers. As scientists get promoted they tend to flow from making to managing, but different individuals succeed to different extents at maintaining a balance. Put another way, I want to keep spending a large fraction of my time with an xterm and an emacs buffer open, rather than my email client and a Word document (ugh).

I obviously have to spend a reasonable amount of time meeting with people, so how do I strike the balance I want? What Graham describes from his younger days, and what I've seen a lot of scientists do is basically work two full days every day: 9-5ish as a manager and then 9PM-2AM (or whatever) coding, analyzing data, or whatever. I'm not quite ready to work that much, so what I've resolved to do (we'll see how it goes) is to actually schedule half-day chunks into my calendar for "making" when I won't be free to accept meetings with anyone else. I'll close my door, not answer the phone, and focus on a project in that time.

Wish me luck!


I went downstairs to the paper shredder yesterday to shred some (incriminating) documents, but it wouldn't turn on. I looked to see if it had become unplugged, and discovered that someone had cut through the power cord at the plug, and the end was nowhere to be found.

Did the machine feed the cord to itself, using it's last gasp of electricity in self immolation? Or did somebody get really pissed off at the shredder and take an axe to its cable?

28 July 2009

Worth knowing

Well, I could've guessed that texting while driving would increase your chances of crashing, but apparently the odds ratio is 23!

19 July 2009

You can't make it up

From the webpage of Elan Pharma, a too-good-to-not-be-true example of buzzword bingo:

We are executing a winning strategy that is focused on realizing the full potential of our pipeline and delivering the maximum benefit to our patients, their families and our shareholders.

14 July 2009

Meeting Royalty

His Royal Highness, the Prince Andrew, Duke of York, came to visit the Sanger campus last week. He had previously developed an interest in the Institute when discussing it (among other things) at a meeting with our principal funder, the Wellcome Trust.

After arriving by helicopter he met with a variety of people, including an unscheduled detour to the cafeteria to say hello to people having lunch. His last agenda item was a "working lunch" with some of the young faculty, including yours truly. Pictured at left (courtesy of the WT photographer) is me being introduced (that's Sanger director Allan Bradley's ghost hand behind the Prince).

The Prince (Charles's younger brother for those who don't carefully follow the Royal Family) was very engaged and seemed legitimately interested in our scientific work. He's obviously a smart guy, and well practiced at conversing intelligently with experts on nearly any topic.


After Benoc mentioned it, I decided to see when I could take a look at the International Space Station in Cambridge (use the "Quick and easy sightings by city" dropdown on the right). Using my iPhone's built in compass (did you know I had a new iPhone?) to align myself, I set up a reclining lawn chair on the back deck and waited.

It was a partially cloudy night, and not fully dark at 22:52, but before long I saw the bright spot streaking overhead. I tracked it in my binocs for the six minutes it was passing, but generally couldn't make out much more than a bright smudge racing through the sky. Makes me want to take up astrophotography, except I live in a very cloudy part of the world.

11 July 2009

Lake district

Quick road post of video from today's hike in the Lake district (shot with my iPhone):

09 July 2009

Another chapter in the annals of the iPhone

There's a chess board in the hallway outside my office, and sometimes a couple of us will take a break from the day for a quick duel in le jeu d'homme qui pense. Of course we don't have all day to waste on this so I commented that we really needed a chess clock. Then it occurred to me that I very likely had one in my pants! I pulled out my trusty iPhone, went to the AppStore on the phone and 30 seconds later had a chess clock ($0.99) downloaded and activated.

Full awesome.

04 July 2009

Mazuma is great

For those of you in the UK, you may have seen the annoying Mazuma.com ads on TV. Essentially, you send your old cellphone in to them and they send you a check in return. I had a first-gen iPhone gathering dust after my recent upgrade (see below), so I decided to try it out.

I found out they would pay a remarkable £115 for the old model, so I requested the prepaid envelope, which arrived in about two days. I sent it in and literally got a confirmation email two days later and a check for the promised amount the next day! No hassle, exactly as they promised. I find it surprising they can sell on my phone for that much, but more power to them! Mazuma rocks.

30 June 2009

If you can't handle the heat...

...move to somewhere even colder than Britain, apparently. We're having a "heat wave" this week, which consists of temperatures in the low 30's (high 80's fahrenheit) and requires health alerts from the BBC and results in dangerous levels of whingeing by locals about it being too hot.

It's grey and rainy all year people! Enjoy yourselves!

27 June 2009

iPhone 3GS

I realized that I haven't actually said much about my new iPhone, other than that long, boring rant about getting it set up. In brief, it's awesome. I didn't upgrade from the first gen to the 3G, so I'm pretty stoked about getting the huge speed bump in over-the-air data speed, in addition to all the other awesomeness of the new model.

Its awesomeness was demonstrated today during my morning of audiophilia. Those who know me well will be aware of my atrocious sense of direction. My old iPhone could show maps anywhere I went, and make an educated guess about my location, but the new one instantly pops up about a 10 foot circle (via GPS) and orients the map to the direction I'm facing (via the built-in compass). Money.


In honor of MJ I:
  1. Went to Cambridge Re-sale and bought a used Technics amp so that I:
  2. Could finally drag my long idle JBL N24's out of the crawl space and then:
  3. Pump up the volume on my fresh download of Thriller.

24 June 2009

Password masking

Some dude has a post about how password masking in webforms (showing only asterisks or bullets in the password field, rather than what you're typing) is a relic of early browsers and should be discarded in favor of cleartext password boxes. The claim is that not being able to see what you're typing makes it hard to notice typos and contributes to a bad user experience.

I think the point is interesting, but the suggestion freaks me out. It's true that people frequently use bad design for no reason other than convention, and I agree that over-the-shoulder password stealing is a mostly imaginary threat. Nonetheless, I have a built-in reaction to seeing my password in cleartext that's similar to walking outside naked. This is a string that we've typed millions of times, but never actually seen appear onscreen! Whenever I accidentally see my password (typing in the wrong field, typing before an ssh connection has returned with the prompt, etc) I get the urge to cover up as quickly as possible, even if I'm sitting in my office by myself!

22 June 2009

iPhone 3GS, and props to O2

Many of you will know that in addition to being a general Apple fanboy, I'm an iPhone addict. I've had a first-gen UK iPhone since they launched here in 2007, but I resisted the impulse to pay the early-upgrade fee last year to get an iPhone 3G. Of course, I've been jealous of all those late adopters who had a shinier gizmo than me ever since!

This month's launch of the new iPhone 3GS gave me the chance to get back to the front of the line (literally, see below) of Apple gadgets. My original 18 month contract had lapsed, so I was eligible to upgrade to the new phone with a new contract. I booked a "personal shopper" appointment for 8AM on launch day, last Friday, June 19. I arrived at the Apple Store just before 8, giving me enough time to convince the nearby Starbucks to serve me 5 minutes early (seriously, a Starbucks that doesn't open until 8?! but that's a rant for another day) so I could have a hot beverage while I made my purchase. There was a modest line, but my pre-booked appointment let me skip to the front and be one of the first buyers in Cambridge.

In retrospect I should've just bought it at an O2 store, because the actual selling of the phone (where Apple store employees have expertise) is trivial, whereas the setting up of the account (O2's domain) is annoyingly complex. I would've thought I'd be an easy test-case, since I already had an account and was eligible for an upgrade. Not so: the straightjacket O2 registration page required a credit check on me, despite the fact that I've been a loyal customer for nearly two years. This would've been easy, except it requires the Apple store employee to call O2, where he got a girl on her first day (nice planning, O2). This took a while, but eventually was OK'd.

The next step is where the real problem struck. Somehow, instead of upgrading me, the Apple guy signed me up to a new contract with an additional phone number. Admittedly the O2 interface he was using was confusing, but I think it was at least half his fault for not carefully reading the instructions (e.g. he kept getting an error message on how many digits an IMEI should have, and kept putting in different things, never actually matching the requested number of digits). He told me the new phone would be activated with my old SIM and number, and I should ignore the fact that I was signing a contract with another phone number and SIM printed on it. I said three times that this didn't feel right, and he reassured me and spoke to a manager, who reassured him, that this was how it should work. By that point I just wanted the phone, so I caved and signed the new contract.

Once at home, much to my surprise, I popped the old SIM in the new phone, plugged it into my computer, and it magically worked: correct phone number, all data synced from my laptop. Brilliant. When I logged on to my O2 account page, however, I discovered that I now had two lines registered to me — exactly what I had dreaded. I had other things to do, so I left it for the time being, hoping that it might sort itself out. On Saturday I received an email billing me for my new account, which promptly killed that hope.

At this point I was convinced this would be a hugely annoying problem to fix, and that I'd be wrangling with O2 for days to get things right. I settled in with a big cup of coffee on Sunday morning to phone them up, expecting to be there all day. My first attempt looked promising, as I got bounced from Customer Service to iPhone service to somebody else, all giving me the impression that my problem would be possible to fix. Then the line went dead.


So I gave them a few minutes in the vain hope they might call back, and then called customer service again, expecting to have to be bounced along the same path to someone who might be able to help. Imagine my surprise when it became clear that this service rep was both knowledgeable and possessed the appropriate permissions to immediately close down the unwanted new account and put a hold on the bill, with no repercussions or further action from me (this is the land of "computer says no", after all)!

So now I have my awesome new phone, only one bill, and it only involved a minor headache. Cheers to O2!

21 June 2009

Photocopier polo

One of Jenny's friends invited us to watch a polo match yesterday. His photocopy supply company (who are apparently booming in the current economy) runs a "family day" where they have a big barbecue and watch polo. Snippet of video is from my new iPhone 3GS (more soon). The quality is actually remarkable at full frame, but I had to crop this way down to avoid it being just a video of an enormous field with 8 tiny ponies running around.

Return of the rabbit

Our friend came back, and Jenny snapped a photo of him enjoying our flower bed:

15 June 2009

On defrauding the public, and then beating them up.

It's been interesting to watch events after the Iranian presidential election unfold over the last couple of days. A variety of (mostly Western) sources have claimed that Ahmadinejad could not plausibly have won in the 63% landslide specified in the official results. There is, of course, disagreement about how unlikely this result is, with some excellent commentary at the always reliable 538.com.

What I find more interesting, however, is how difficult it is for a regime to walk the fine line between falsifying elections in a remotely believable way vs. the more outrageous Saddam Hussein-style victory by 94%. I'm leaning toward some wide-scale fraud, supported mostly by the strange circumstances surrounding the third- and fourth-placed candidates who saw a ten-fold decrease in voter share, losing even their hometowns by enormous margins.

If this is true, then it illustrates how difficult it is for dictators in the 21st century to impose their rule by fiat, but keep a straight face about "free and fair" elections at the UN water cooler. I also find it strange that the powers that be, after rigging the election in a vaguely plausible way, have resorted to blocking the internet, disabling text messaging, and generally beating the shit out of anyone who disagrees with the party line.

14 June 2009

Liz Lemon

I just watched the first DVD of season 2 of 30 Rock, which was only released in the UK relatively recently. The first season was excellent, and I had been looking forward to the second for a couple of months. So far (8 episodes in), this season is even better than the first, with awesome cameos from Jerry Seinfeld, Al Gore and James Carville. I also get the sense that it must be an industry favorite, as they've had Carrie Fisher, David Schwimmer and Edie Falco as guest stars.

If you aren't watching it, you should be.

30 May 2009

Huevos Benedictos

Our first attempt at full eggs benedict (after perfecting poached eggs a la carte). These are actually from a few weeks ago, but just downloaded the picture off my camera.

Breakfast visitor

This fellow was in our garden this AM.

29 May 2009


As soon as Swinefest 2K9 was heating up a few of us predicted that if we got a hold of some samples and sequenced them it would be a dead easy Science paper. We were right, but somebody else had the idea!

26 May 2009

Khalid Sheik Muhammed != Magneto

I really don't understand this argument that Dick Cheney (plus most of Congress?) is making about how dangerous it would be to move some Guantanamo inmates to supermax prisons in the lower 48. There are at least three reasons this argument is dumb:
  1. If these guys are too dangerous to be kept in the USA, doesn't that mean they're too dangerous to be kept in Cuba? If they escape there, they would be on an island deemed to be an American enemy. Wouldn't that be better for them than escaping into the Colorado wilderness?
  2. These terrorists aren't dangerous themselves, they're dangerous (if at all) when they get together and plan bombings etc. We already keep some seriously bad dudes locked up in supermax prisons; people who I'd be a lot more frightened of in my neighborhood than your average radical Islamist.
  3. They won't escape! Nobody has ever escaped!
And if they do, Pres. Obama has a dream team on call.