I've been checking the Sports Guy's webpage incessantly all day in the hope that he'll have something soothing to say about last night's game. I finally read today's column (which was inexplicably not posted to his site, but only the main Page2 site as of this writing) and it was almost as cathartic as I wanted it to be.
See, there are legions of crazed New Englanders who think of Bill Simmons as one of their buddies. As my brother put it, "How the fuck did this guy get a column on ESPN.com by being a run-of-the-mill Red Sox lunatic?" Well, he's a halfway decent writer (although he's constantly overusing the same old gimmicks) and he's certainly got a feel for what it's like to be a Sox fan.
And today of all days when I've been fiending for a Sox-Yankees rematch since I woke up at 7:00, I needed someone to commiserate with. I wanted it so bad that I was practically shooting Coke out my nose laughing at his really dumb jokes. I mean, making fun of a Cialis ad? That's bush league stuff. Anyway, 8PM can't come soon enough.